Dear College Girlfriends (you know who you are!),
I went to the gym yesterday and for the first time decided to do a "dance class". The class description reads:
A cardio dance workout that incorporates a variety of dance genres. You'll burn calories as the instructor leads you through salsa, hip hop, tease and cowboy boogie style movements. The instructor may vary the dance styles from class to class so you'll never be bored while burning those calories!
Sounds like fun, right? I was a little nervous while waiting for the class to start b/c I didn't know all the moves but then I noticed some 80 year olds in the class and I said to myself, "I got this". We didn't spend all those Thursday nights dancing on speakers for nothing, right? I've got rhythm. I can dance.
Boy, was I wrong. Oh, so very wrong. Girls, we've known each other since we were like 18 and in the past 12 years or so you haven't once mentioned that I have no RHYTHM. And when I say no rhythm, I mean NO RHYTHM. As I watched myself in the mirror I kept laughing at myself. I could barely kick my leg out and hop at the same time (don't even get me started on the kick boxing class). When the salsa moves came up. I thought okay, I am about 1/4th Mexican I've got this part. I'll make my Mama Licha and Tia Queta proud. Wrong again. No wonder I didn't meet any dudes at Planeta.
It didn't help that this dorky girl next to me could shake her booty like no other. She could go up against Beyonce any day.
I know I don't have moves like JC (who does?) but I thought I could hold my own on the dance floor.
I thought we were friends? What they hell happened to honesty and open communication?
Next time we go out I'll be the one hanging out at the bar or waiting in the car.
I've decided to stick to what I know. So I signed up for a craft class today. Sewing 101.
Ya'll can shake what your momma gave you but I'll be able to sew pillows like no other. Jealous?
Love to hate you (but I can't)
JF
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7 comments:
Once more, a chip off the old block...at least you and Al frequently tell me I have no rhythm. I thought your friends were more trustworthy than that! You used to dance on speakers??!!! and if you were indeed dancing on speakers, that is why you have no rhythm..no room to shake your booty on a speaker...well..and once again you have a chip (or hunk) off the old block.
love,
gaga
p.s.: did I ever tell you about the time I was dancing on the table top in Acapulco? That was a sight! I think I was banned from the restaurant after that night..bad for business.
I am right there with you on this one. I cannot dance for anything.
Love this. Wish I had seen it!
Hahaha that is too funny!!
This. Is. Hilarious!
I have been going to a cardio 'jam class' and I always feel completely ridiculous! :) Love your follow up post too... priceless!!!
OMG - this post is hilarious! I am a dancer and and pretty coordinated. I went to dance camp every summer and could pick up a whole dance in a snap - so I thought a Step class would be a piece of cake. I made a total A$$ out of myself. It was terrible. I feel your pain. Next time try drinking before the dance class - it always improves dance moves.
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